Trying to Do Everything (and What My Body Said About It)

Yesterday I caught myself doing it again: trying to do everything.

Tuesday is generally a quieter day for me. Pete helped me make some food for our local pool team. It's a lovely family night, and I don't often have the energy or the capacity to get to the matches. But I really wanted to go last night. I hadn't seen my son for a few days and he was going to be there, and I wanted to get out of the house.

I did a little bit of work from bed, and some of the hotel work. My son rang and offered to pick me up. I said I'd finish the work so I knew it was clear, and then I'd have a walk and a little fresh air.

It's not that far.

The work took longer than I expected it to - hmm isn't that often the case?

I got my coat and shoes on and set off, and it started to rain.

It's autumn, so it was quite a lot of rain. I thought, this is daft, I'm going to make myself tired and catch a cold.

I rang to see if the offer of a lift was still available, but my husband was refereeing a match, so they couldn't come straight away. There was a bus stop up ahead, so I said I'd wait there.

As I got to the bus stop, the rain stopped, and there was a cold wind. If I stood still I'd get colder, so I walked on, along the route my husband always drives, (my logic he'd pass me, see me and stop).

I didn't expect him to be long, the pub where they play isn't far from home, he would be with me in a very short time and I would see him driving towards me.

He didn't.

Then a car came up from behind me. It was my husband, come to rescue me, but he'd gone a different way.

I ended up walking further in the dark than I'd planned.

Nothing dramatic happened

I'd asked for a lift. I'd been sensible, because of my chronic fatigue. It was nothing really dramatic. I'd noticed I was tired. I was aware that I was tired. I chose what I thought was the right next step, and it didn't quite work out as I'd planned. It was all fine. My husband did come and get me.

Notice, become aware, choose the real next step

This is the way I teach everything. Notice what's happening. Become aware of what it's doing to you. Then choose the real next step.

I was using that walk as a way of relaxing, of switching my mind off from the work. But I’d already packed a lot into one day, and a walk in the cold and the rain was one more thing on the list.

Sometimes, even trying to relax can add to an already crowded day!

The food, the emails, some time to rest, some fresh air.

We can't do all of it, can we?

I notice it in my shoulders. They start to creep up towards my ears. After 30 years of practice you'd hope I'd have stopped, but what's changed is that I notice sooner. And I still have to keep saying to myself: Linda, do what you teach.

A small thing to try today

Each time you catch your shoulders creeping up towards your ears, pause and ask yourself: what is pulling at me right now?

You don't need to fix any of it. Take a breath in, scrunch your shoulders up and hold them. Then breathe out and let them go.

Noticing is the first step.

Where this comes from

All of this comes from Map 1: Rest, four short Paths for anyone who is tired and would like a little stillness in their day. Path 1 is where it starts, with noticing where your attention gets pulled out during the day. Path 3 is about not turning even rest into another thing to get right. Path 4 is about carrying the calm back into an ordinary day.