A year later

I didn't send this on the weekend, as I usually do. I was in Coniston, supporting Adam, who works security for the Montane Lakeland 100/50 event there.

So this blog/newsletter is coming to you a little late, and a little different.

Last year I did the same thing. Same event, same job, standing beside Adam in the dark. I went home on the Sunday, taught YiNidra on the Monday night, and then.....my appendix burst.

I have the photo from that night. And I have one from this year, in daylight, same two faces, one year on.

This year I didn't do very much at all, by most measures.

I made bacon butties. I gave Adam my camper van to sleep in. I rounded up a sheep that had wandered somewhere it shouldn't. I gave a bath oil treat to one of the hotel regulars, who'd just finished the 50.

None of that would go on a list of achievements. But it's the whole point, really.

A year ago I was pushing through, teaching a class the night after a weekend like that, running on the fumes of duty.

My body ended the conversation for me, because I hadn't.

This year I showed up, did what was needed, and let that be enough.

No performance.

No proving I could still do it all.

Just a bacon butty, a borrowed bed, a stray sheep, and going home when it was time to go home.

That's the shift the R.E.A.L. Method keeps trying to teach me, over and over, in ways I don't always want to learn.

Rest isn't the reward you earn after you've done enough.

It's the thing that lets you keep showing up at all.

I'm not saying this as someone who's cracked it. I'm saying it as someone standing in the same field a year later, still learning the difference between showing up and using myself up.

What would "enough" have looked like for you, this weekend just gone?

With peace and stillness,
Linda xx